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Table Runner for Burns Night

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The Channel Threat

I am writing this explanation of my piece in order to explain to those who do not know that we do, in fact, have both a Clandestine Channel Threat Commander and a Minister for Immigration Compliance. The Dept. for the Salubriosness of Great Britannia was of my own making. Sounds good though. It is also the case that I did not have a clue what I was doing when I first started this blog. That includes the need to give a background to my articles. I have also made a few changes to this article. Please enjoy.

Dan O’Mahoney, you’re the CCTC:
A Marine brought in to guard our seas,
Against marauding bands of life jacketed savages
Who “our green and pleasant lands” would ravage.

Danny, get on your “chariot of fire”
and unleash Britannia’s superior force,
To repel the mighty Armada of the foe,
Paddling over in their tiny boats.

Hail Clandestine Channel Threat Commander,
Get your act together, please do not dander.
Fetch your “bow of burning gold”
But be sure you point it straight and bold.

Your country needs a steady hand,
Our perspicacious Government agrees
That your fight on the beaches of our lands,
Will save us from those Herculean miscreants.

We know that the Ministry for Immigration Compliance,
Will always be there for a handy alliance,
With our Clandestine Channel Threat Commander
And the Department for the salubriousness of Great Britannia.

Shirley Gibson 30.09.2020 copyright


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The Ballad of Dominic Cummings


There once was a couple called Domie and Boris
Who hosted a party in their garden of roses
All their pals and the media had gathered there
For Domie Cummings, his soul to bare

We had a pandemic in the World you see
The people were told they were no longer free
To go outside and socialise
Nor visit their loved ones as they died

But that rule was not for everyone
And Cummings broke it with impunity
He got a story drafted for us
Knowing that Boris would provide immunity

After all Boris had nothing else on his plate
Just the pandemic and that could wait
So he and his cronies supported their buddy
As the truth, his tale, was intended to muddy

Fairy Tale of Barnard Castle
[Based loosely] on the tune of “Fairy Tale of New York”, The Pogues]

“ My eyes were fuzzy and I could not see so good
So we all got in my car. I’m really quite a dude
And then we had a trip to Barnard Castle town
But going back again, we had to stop”

Then the river was calling so we took a little walk
Alongside it’s rippling flow we passed the time
But then we had to leave to drive back home again
Then came the miracle, my sight was fine

Now that bit is the truth there will be no regrets
And I’ve always got Boris to watch my back
Though I spread the beastie
through our green and pleasant land
I am pretty sure that I’ll not get the sack

Chorus
We’ve got cars big as bars
We’ve got bank accounts to match
So we really don’t care much
For daft rules on our patch
Just let all the low paid keep this country fit
While we open the champagne and dream of Brexit

He’s a bum
He’s a twit
He’s gotta be on smack
If he thinks we believe him
He’s buttoned up the back

As the boys of the right wing syndicate
were singing Jerusalem
The bells were ringing out for Dominie

Shirley Costello Gibson 02.06.2020 copyright